Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
How's work?
Spinning.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
