so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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