His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
