He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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