I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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