i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize