No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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