But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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