With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
