i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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