Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
