We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
