hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
