i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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