Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize