You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
