you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
