Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think my fart just growled at me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize