i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
