WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
