dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
