I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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