His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
