you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
