I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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