he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
