You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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