Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
