It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
