Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
