K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize