some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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