just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
