If that was your dad, he is hot
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
