Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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