I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
