just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
