i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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