FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
