Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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