Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize