arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
