I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
