Buhtt sex?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
