i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize