so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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