i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
