Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
