Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize