This is not my ceiling
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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