all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize