I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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