I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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