Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
