im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You ate ashes out of my bong
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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