he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
