just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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