Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
