i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
