Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
