what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize