omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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