i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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