My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
