I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
