Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My bed smells like the plague
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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